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worms 3/11/2003
Little Tommy was playing with an earthworm in the back of
his grandparents' house. Grandpa comes out and watches
him for a while. Then he says, "Tommy, I bet ya five
dollars you can't get that worm to go back in the hole."
Tommy thinks for a minute, then goes in to the house. He comes
out a minute later with Grandma's hairspray. He holds
the worm by one end, sprays it with hairspray, ...
1 Comments, 41 Views,
16 Votes
,4.30 Score
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understanding women 3/11/2003
A man is shipwrecked on a desert island, and walks the beach
every morining to see is anything useful has washed up.
One morning he finds a lamp. He figures what the hell, and
sure enough, when he rubs it out pops the genie. "I
will grant your wish, oh Master", says the genie.
The man thinks for a bit, then says, "Ya know, I have
been here for a couple of years, and this island is not ...
1 Comments, 66 Views,
52 Votes
,8.41 Score
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two drunks 3/9/2003
two drunks are sitting outside of a bar without the price
of a drink between them. one has an idea..."lets get
a hotdog, i will put it down my pants, and when the bartender
tells us the price, you drop to your knees, pull out the hotdog,
and pretend to give me a blowjob. we'll get thrown out
for queers!" the other drunk agrees and they go to
the first bar. the first drunk orders two ...
1 Comments, 42 Views,
26 Votes
,5.61 Score
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Truck Driver 3/7/2003
A truck driver walked into a house in Vegas , he put
$1000.00 down and told the madam he wanted a meanest, nastyest
fatest , in the place, the madan said mister for a thousand
you can have the best looking woman in the house, he said
mam you dont understand im not horny im homesick!!
1 Comments, 97 Views,
87 Votes
,7.26 Score
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taxidermist 2/24/2003
There was a taxidermist who was the only survivor of a plane
crash in the midddle of the Australian outback. He wandered
for days, with no food or water to sustain him. Finally,
by chance, he came upon a pub in the middle of nowhere. He
runs in and orders a tall glass of milk. The guys all look
at him and one growls, "Milk...what kind of drink is that
for a man. Just what in the hell ...
1 Comments, 58 Views,
10 Votes
,4.78 Score
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High wires and old women 2/4/2003
On one side of the world there is a man walking on a tightrope
over a 4, 000 ft. deep gorge. At the same time on the other
side of the world, a man is getting a blowjob from an 85 year
old woman with no teeth.
What is going through both of their minds at the same time?
<br>
DON'T LOOK DOWN !!!!!
1 Comments, 77 Views,
43 Votes
,5.96 Score
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An Ostrich and a Cat 2/4/2003
A guy, an ostrich and a cat go into a bar. The guy says to the
barman 'I'll have a pint of Guiness please' The ostrich
says 'I'll have the same please' and the cat says 'I'll have
a whisky, but I'm not paying'. So they get their drinks and
the man pulls out the exact money to pay for them.
The next week, the same trio go into the bar. The man says
'I'll have a brandy', the ostrich says ...
1 Comments, 58 Views,
58 Votes
,6.58 Score
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Old Boat! 1/16/2003
Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner
of a dilapidated
old boat. It so happened that John's wife died the same day
that Joe's boat
sank.
<br>
A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe a mistook him
for John.
She said, 'I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just
feel terrible.'
<br>
Joe thinking that she was talking about his boat, ...
1 Comments, 59 Views,
140 Votes
,8.05 Score
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eggs 12/20/2002
A couple was celebrateing their 60th wedding aniversity
and they are having dinner and talking about their life
with each other over the years when the husband asked, I
have always wondered what you keep in the hope chest that
you got at our wedding I have never seen whats in it.The wife
says no problem I'll show you. So they go into the bedroom
and she unlocks the chest and opens it up. ...
5 Comments, 136 Views,
127 Votes
,7.22 Score
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Another Limerick 11/30/2002
On Saturn the sexes are three
Which is quite awkward you'll agree
To perform Con Brio
It requires a Trio
and it even takes two for a pee
2 Comments, 27 Views,
43 Votes
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POKER VIBRATOR PHONE 11/8/2002
A GUY PICKED UP HOME SOME CHICKS FOR THREESOME.WHILST THEY
WEREIN SESSION HIS MOBILE PHONE STARTED RINGING AND INTERRUPTING
HIS FUN GAME SO HE SET TO VIBRATOR LEVEL5.AFTER HE FINISHED
WITH THESE GIRLS ONE OF JUST PICKED
HAND SET WRAPPED A CONDOM SHEE ROUND IT AND INSERTED IT INTO
HER CUNT.THE GUY MADE A FRANTIC EFFORT TO TRACE THE CULPRIT
AND THEY ALL READILY ALLOWED HIM TO SEARCH THEM ...
2 Comments, 42 Views,
91 Votes
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Shemale golfer 10/25/2002
Why a shemale golfer refuse to play with any male golfer?
Ans....She already have two balls of her own to play with
ahd can get a hole-in-one anytime she like!!
2 Comments, 76 Views,
50 Votes
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3 Mice 9/28/2002
3 mice were in a bar, drinking and bragging about how tough
they were. After downing a shot of bourbon and slamming
the glass on the bar, the 1st mouse said:"When I see a mousetrap,
I lay on my back, set it off with my foot, catch the bar in my
teeth, bench press it 30 times to build up an appetite, then
snatch the cheese and eat it". The 2nd mouse, after downing
2 shots of tequila and ...
2 Comments, 71 Views,
178 Votes
,8.17 Score
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Why women don't fart 6/29/2002
Women don't fart because they can't keep their mouth shut
long enough to build up pressure.
5 Comments, 42 Views,
626 Votes
,7.32 Score
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God and Eve 5/27/2002
One day Eve was washing her beaver in the river, when all
of a sudden God spoke down to Eve and said ?Eve you shouldn?t
be washing in that river I will never be able to get the smell
out of those fish.
4 Comments, 60 Views,
34 Votes
,2.97 Score
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Island Fun 1/17/2002
I have always been a bit of an exhibitionist, but my wife
is very shy about showing her body. In general, I do not think
she even wants to see herself naked. However, when she has
been drinking a lot, this changes. She still does not want
others to see her naked, but she takes a lot more risks. For
example, it is not unusual for me to talk her out of all of
her clothes on a ride home from ...
4 Comments, 273 Views,
87 Votes
,8.67 Score
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MASTURBATING BULL 9/26/2000
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A BULL THAT MASTURBATES?
<br>
A: BEEF STROGANOFF!
3 Comments, 84 Views,
7 Votes
,5.84 Score
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Do you want fries with that? 9/11/2000
What do you call a 300 pound woman with a yeast infection?
<br>
A: A Whopper with cheese!
3 Comments, 44 Views,
12 Votes
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ATM Dancer 9/7/2000
So the other day, my friends and I went to this "Ladies Night
Club".
<br>
One of the girls wanted to impress us, so she pulls out a $10
bill. The
"dancer" came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and
put it on his
butt cheek.
<br>
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She
calls the
guy back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it on his ...
3 Comments, 92 Views,
58 Votes
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Who wants to be a millionaire? 8/23/2000
The man asks the wife if he can have some. She says no. He asks
if that is her final answer. She says yes. He asks if he can
call a friend!!
3 Comments, 57 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
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threes guys and a mormon 5/4/2000
Three guys and a mormon were standing around talking one day and the
first guy says , "I have 4 , one more and I'll have a basketball
team," the second guy says so.. "I have 8 , one more and I'll have
a baseball team,".. The third guy says, "SO I have 11 , one more
and I'll have a footbal team"... The mormon laughing says thats
nothing.."I've got 17 wives, one more and I'll have a ...
3 Comments, 134 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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2 lawyers in a bar 5/4/2000
Two lawyers were in a bar during happy hour sharing a beer,
when this sexy/shapley blond walks by, the first lawyer
says to his friend, "I'd love to fuck her" the second turns
and says "really, outa what?"
3 Comments, 136 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Sex on the Schedule 4/20/2000
A married couple went to see a cousilor due to an unhappy
relationship in the past two months. After listening each
of them complain about their personal lifestyles he asked
them if they even having a "sexual relationship". They
both agreed that the sex part of it is good although it's
difficult to schedule a particualar time between their
work schedules. The counsilor was flabbergasted ...
4 Comments, 176 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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freeride 12/13/1999
Two fleas are scheduled to meet in Miami once winter hits. One arrives weeks before the other, and once the second arrives he is hypothermic and near dead. The second flea sees the first so comfortable and asks how he did it, the first replies that he simply crawls up a stewardess's dress and waits where it is nice and warm, and suggests that the other flea try the same. So the next year the ...
3 Comments, 183 Views,
9 Votes
,1.93 Score
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How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? 12/3/1999
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs,
breasts, and thighs.
1 Comments, 29 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Two little boys 10/17/1999
Joey and Timmy meet in the hospital ward prior to surgery.
Timmy is obviously nervous, so Joey asks, "Are you
alright?"
"I'm getting my tonsils out and I'm kinda scared, " said
Timmy.
Oh, I had my tonsils out last year. You'll just have a
sore throat. Then they'll bring you ice cream!" said Joey.
"Oh, I guess that's ok 'cause I like ice cream. What are
you here for?"
"I'm having a ...
1 Comments, 74 Views,
0 Votes
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Jokes for U 6/23/1999
Joke#1
An old man went to his doctor and complained that he had toilet problems
'Well, let's see', said the doctor,'How is your urination?'
'Every morning at seven o'clock on the dot'.
'Good. How about your bowel movements ? '
'Eight o'clock each morning as regular as could be'
'So what's the problem?' asked the Doctor.
'I don't wake up until nine!'
Joke#2
A big game hunter was engaged by a ...
3 Comments, 139 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Lord Shiva's wish ( Love automation ) 6/23/1999
Lord Shiva granted Manu a wish.
Manu : I want my penis to increase/ decrease in size as per my wish.
Lord Shiva : Ok. If you clap your hands the size of your penis will increase.
Manu : But I also wish to decrease it's size when required.
Lord : Don't worry if you snap your fingers the size will decrease.
Manu : Thank you ,lord.
One day,Manu left his home to visit his friend Raja. On his
way he ...
3 Comments, 124 Views,
4 Votes
,0.14 Score
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Walking Lane 6/23/1999
Lord Shiva was waiting at the door to heaven. He was to decide posting's of candidates based on their merit.
Merit Criteria :
1. If a candidate was faithful to his/her spouse, he/she was given a "Mercedes Benz" to enjoy his life in heaven.
2. If a candidate had engaged in sex with a neighbour he/she was given a "Two-wheeler" to enjoy his life in heaven.
3. If a candidate had engaged in ...
3 Comments, 126 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
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