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Toilet humour 10/6/2019
Three ladies of a certain age are discussing problems associated
with ageing. “60 is far the worst age”, says the first.
“You feel like you’re always needing to , but in fact
there’s nothing there”. <br><br>
“That’s nothing”, says the second, “when you’re
70, your digestive system packs up. You take plenty of laxatives,
eat loads of fibre, and spend all day ...
1 Comments, 32 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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Politics 10/5/2019
A boy asks his father: - Dad, I have to give a presentation at school, can I ask you
some questions? - Yes of course, come on, what do you want to know? - What are politics? The father reflects for a moment and then starts: - Well then, let’s take our home as an example. I am an employee,
so I earn money, so let's call me "capitalism".
Your mother is the administrator of the ...
1 Comments, 28 Views,
5 Votes
,2.16 Score
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What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? 10/4/2019
Beef strokin’ off. <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
... I'll see myself out.
2 Comments, 8 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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another funny 10/2/2019
what do dyslexic zombies eat? <br><br>
<br><br>
BRAINS <br><br>
<br><br>
ha!!!
1 Comments, 10 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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More Humour 10/1/2019
A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday.
She spends $, 000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t
mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”. ‘About 32, ’ is the reply.’ ‘Nope! I’m exactly 50, ’ the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into ...
1 Comments, 40 Views,
12 Votes
,4.21 Score
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More Humour 10/1/2019
After two weeks on a desert island with only each other for
company, Bob and Geoff are getting horny. "Look, " says Bob, "Neither of us are
gay, but if you pretend to be a women for me, when I'm
done, I'll pretend to be a woman for you." Geoff reluctantly agrees and suffers minutes of painful
humiliation as Bob fucks him up the arse. When it's
over, Geoff asks Bob ...
1 Comments, 38 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
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More Humour 10/1/2019
Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin
when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ To ye! Aren’t
ye Mrs. Donovan And didn’t I marry ye and yer Hoosband
two years ago?’ She replied, ‘Aye, that ye did, Father.’ The Father asked, ‘And be there Any wee little ones yet?’
She replied, ‘No, not yet, Father.’ The Father said, ...
1 Comments, 34 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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Senior Briefing 10/1/2019
On the first day at the new seniors complex, the manager
addressed all the new seniors pointing out some of the rules:
<br><br>
"The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds
for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody
caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
<br><br>
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this ...
3 Comments, 42 Views,
8 Votes
,2.55 Score
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are you smuggling opiates... 10/1/2019
Him= Are you smuggling opiates in your bra? Her= No, why? Him- Because I see a "Perky Set" in there!
1 Comments, 8 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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monday funny 10/1/2019
my wife keeps using the word 'mansplaining' wrong
and I don't know how to tell her! <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
ha!
1 Comments, 7 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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limrick 10/1/2019
there was a man from bombay who made a cunt out of clay he put
in his prick it hardened like a brick and tore his forskin
away
1 Comments, 15 Views,
7 Votes
,0.49 Score
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The points :) 9/30/2019
Just making this article for the points yall sry bout that
2 Comments, 8 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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Damsel in Distress 9/29/2019
A man brags about finding a woman strapped to some railroad
tracks and untying her, taking her home and having the best
sex of his life with her. His friend asked, was she cute?
He replies I don’t know I couldn’t find her head.
1 Comments, 8 Views,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score
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Strange Day 9/28/2019
I've had a weird day today First I found a hat full of coins Then I got chased down the road by a bloke with a guitar.....
1 Comments, 22 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
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sex 9/26/2019
hell yes very
4 Comments, 26 Views,
15 Votes
,0.53 Score
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More Humour 9/26/2019
A drunken Irishman is driving through the city of Dublin and his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. "So, " says the cop to the driver, "where
have you been?" "I've been to the pub, " slurs the drunk.
"Well, " says the cop, "it looks like
you've had quite a few." "I did all right, " the drunk says ...
4 Comments, 64 Views,
13 Votes
,2.98 Score
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What in the difference- 9/25/2019
Between a lollipop and a sucker?
2 Comments, 23 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score
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Thomas Edison 9/25/2019
Thomas Edison was probably the first guy to fuck a girl with
the lights on.
2 Comments, 19 Views,
16 Votes
,1.95 Score
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points 9/25/2019
points points points points points points.
2 Comments, 11 Views,
7 Votes
,1.77 Score
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A Joke 9/24/2019
Justin Trudeau was reportedly very excited to be asked
to address a conference on racism. <br><br>
Apparently he's totally made up
2 Comments, 29 Views,
12 Votes
,1.56 Score
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Clownin 9/23/2019
Knock knock......who is it... knock harder.... who is
it... sorry didnt know I was knocking... my dick was on hard
1 Comments, 26 Views,
14 Votes
,1.06 Score
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points 9/22/2019
points points points points points points.
2 Comments, 10 Views,
6 Votes
,1.37 Score
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Is the Earth really round ????? 9/16/2019
NASA lied us !!
2 Comments, 19 Views,
10 Votes
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The biggest Vagina 9/16/2019
Three women are sitting at a bar arguing over who has the
biggest vagina. <br><br>
“The first girl says, ‘My boyfriend can fit a whole
fist up there.’ The second girl says, ‘Ha, my boyfriend
can fit two fists and a foot.’ The third girl just smiles
as she slides down the bar stool.”
2 Comments, 36 Views,
14 Votes
,1.70 Score
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Hotel porn 9/16/2019
A family walks into a hotel and he father goes to the front
desk to get a room. He says "I hope the porn is disabled".
The guy at the desk says "We just show regular porn
you sick fuck".
2 Comments, 19 Views,
12 Votes
,2.62 Score
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More Humour 9/16/2019
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine
. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When
the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife
and the nine are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while,
the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of
the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, ...
2 Comments, 58 Views,
15 Votes
,3.74 Score
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More Humour 9/16/2019
A fledgling journalist has been sent out to an interview
an elderly lady for the local rag, she has just turned 104
and still lives at home. The journo scribbles down the old
lady's life story in shorthand; schooldays, war ,
loves, marriage, widowhood. Then he arrived at the crucial
question. Journo: "Well then Edna, the $64, 000 dollar question!
All our readers will want to know the ...
1 Comments, 31 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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More Humour 9/16/2019
Dave woke up after the annual office Christmas party with
a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable
to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs,
where his old lady put some coffee in front of him. “Louise, ” he moaned, “tell me what happened last
night. Was it as bad as I think?” “Even worse, ” she said, her ...
3 Comments, 53 Views,
10 Votes
,4.98 Score
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More Humour 9/16/2019
The wife was bent over looking at something and it was to
good an opportunity to miss. I pulled her knickers to one side and did what nature intended.
Apparently we are banned from Walmart now .
1 Comments, 19 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
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Pussy lips 9/15/2019
After years of frequent sex, a Blonde noticed that her pussy
lips were elongated and hung down from her body. This embarrased
her greatly, so she went to see a surgeon to see if it could
be fixed. The surgeon said "No problem, we fix this
all the time". The blonde said "OK, lets do it,
but I am very embarrased about this so you can't tell
a soul about it. No one can ...
1 Comments, 90 Views,
12 Votes
,3.33 Score
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