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Dildo and cocks!! 6/16/2021
This story is not worthy of the advice line, but some may
find it funny.. It reminded me as the last few days on the
advice line has been about cocks and dildos..It reminded
me of a situation my girlfreind told me about...Her husband
and her were getting ready for work, there 5 yr old went
in the parents bedroom while daddy was getting coffee and
mummy was in the bathroom..Well he todled into ...
2 Comments, 242 Views,
14 Votes
,3.14 Score
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Farah Fawcett at the Pearly Gates 6/15/2021
After Farah Fawcett died, she was met by St. Peter at the
Pearly Gates.
"Ah, weren't you one of Charlies Angels?"
he says with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Why, yes, I was". Farah replied.
"Well then, we don't get too many high calibre
celebrities up HERE, so before you enter the Pearly Gates,
I am authorized to grant you one wish!"
Farah ponders this for some ...
3 Comments, 135 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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, you got to love em 6/12/2021
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a
cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know the cat as dead?" she asked him.
"Because i pissed in it's ear and it didn't
move, " answered the innocently.
"You did WHAT!!" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know, " explained the boy, "i leant
over and went 'Pssst', and it didn't move."
4 Comments, 232 Views,
11 Votes
,5.22 Score
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How interesting are the answers 6/11/2021
1stgrade school teacher had twenty-six students in her
class. She presented each in her classroom the 1st
half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with
the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe
these were actually done by first graders. Their insight
may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these
are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one
is a ...
3 Comments, 122 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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A southern mama ! 6/10/2021
A young southern girl of 13 was hearing a lot of new words
pertaining to sex at school that she didn't understand
at all. She decided to ask her divorced, single beautiful
30 year old southern blonde headed mom about it bluntly.
The told her mom the at school were saying
things about going down on one another and that she didn't
understand it at all. She asked her mom, "Will you ...
6 Comments, 255 Views,
28 Votes
,6.94 Score
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Shipwreck 6/10/2021
A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck.
Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After
looking around, he realized that they were stranded on
a deserted island.
After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking
his two animal companions to the beach every evening to
watch the sunset.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with ...
2 Comments, 119 Views,
11 Votes
,4.10 Score
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The brilliance of little 6/10/2021
A little boy ask his mom how old she was and she said women
don't tell their age, then he ask how much she weighed
and she said we don't tell that either, so then the little
boy ask her why her and his daddy got a divorce and she said
that she couldn’t tell him.
<br>
A few days later the boy was looking at is moms drivers license
and told his mom " I know how old you are" ...
2 Comments, 184 Views,
15 Votes
,5.73 Score
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SIREN 6/10/2021
A fireman was at the station house when he noticed a little
girl next door. She was in a little red wagon with little
ladders hanging off the side.
She was wearing a fireman's hat and had the wagon tied
to a dog.
The fireman asked her, "Hey little girl. What are
you doing?"
She said, "I'm pretending to be a fireman and
this is my fire truck."
The fireman walked ...
1 Comments, 139 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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Funniest Joke In The World 6/9/2021
The Father walks into his sons room and says:
", I've told you a thousand times not to do
that or you'll go blind." The says:
"Dad, I'm over here."
2 Comments, 375 Views,
19 Votes
,4.44 Score
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's Science Exam 6/9/2021
's Science Exam
If you need a good laugh, try reading through these 's science exam answers...
Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is ...
3 Comments, 138 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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little johnny 6/9/2021
Little Johnny likes to gamble.
One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a
new city.
Johnny's daddy thinks, "I'll get a head
start on Johnny's gambling."
So he calls the teacher and says, "My Johnny will
be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so
you'll have to keep an eye on him."
The teacher says OK, she can handle it. ...
1 Comments, 180 Views,
10 Votes
,3.98 Score
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Caught in the Act! 6/9/2021
A woman takes a lover home
during the day while her Husband is at work.
Her 9 year old comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the Bedroom cupboard to watch.
Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also
comes home.
She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the
little boy is in there ...
2 Comments, 139 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score
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Political Blunders from past years 6/3/2021
HILARIOUS AL GORE QUOTES AND BLUNDERS
"I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat."
-- Vice President Al Gore
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people
going to the polls."
-- Vice President Al Gore
...
1 Comments, 30 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Group therapy 6/3/2021
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session
with four young mothers and their small .
"You all have obsessions, " he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed
with eating. You've even named your Candy."
He turned to the second mom, Ann, and said, "Your obsession
is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your 's
name, Penny." ...
0 Comments, 97 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
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Not The Best Example 6/3/2021
One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the
man called the women a "bitch" and the women
called the man a "bastard".
Their walked in and said "What does bitch and bastard
mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and
gentlemen".
The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said
"feel my titties" and the man said "feel
my dick".
Their walked in ...
5 Comments, 145 Views,
10 Votes
,3.98 Score
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Shark lesions. 3/31/2021
The young shark swam up to his dad and said, “Dad I want
to do something fun today!” The dad turned and asked his
, “Do you see that capsized ship and the people in the water over there?” The turned
and said yes. The dad replied, “well were going to swim over there and while swimming around those
people we are going to show them the tip of our fins.” The
, excited followed his dad ...
2 Comments, 114 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Not coming back 1/29/2021
She told me that we couldn;t afford beer anymore and I'd
have to quit. Then I caught her spending $65. on her makeup.
And I asked her how I had to give up stuff and she didn't.
She said she needed the make up to look pretty for me. I told
her that was what the beer was for. I don't think she
is coming back.
1 Comments, 54 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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Just for points, that all 1/22/2021
Just for , that all
2 Comments, 9 Views,
0 Votes
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Sally 1/5/2021
Little Sally arrived home from school one afternoon and
told her mother that Frankie Robinson had been showing
his penis while on the playground that morning. Before
the mother could respond, Sally said, it reminded me of
a peanut. Now with a little smirk on her face mother said
you mean that it was tiny? No, remarked Sally. It was salty
.
1 Comments, 85 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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how many times do you tickle an octopus 12/21/2020
10 tickles
1 Comments, 38 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Speeding Ticket 11/26/2020
A man was driving down a dark road one evening. It was late
and there were no other cars on the road. He decided to see
how fast his car would go. As he mashed the accelerator he
felt the car lurch forward with power. As he got up to 90mph
he passed under a bridge. Before long there were red and
blue lights in his rearview, so the man pulls over and gets
all his legal documents together. The ...
3 Comments, 166 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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Funny one 🤔😂 11/3/2020
There was a person. They were two. A short, an average and
a tall. The first say to the fourth. What do you want or an
apple? The next day it was raining...lol 🤷♂️
<br><br>
[image]...
1 Comments, 66 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score
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blonde wife 9/22/2020
One winter morning in Syracuse a husband and his blonde
wife were listening to the radio during breakfast. They
heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to
inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered
side of the street, so the snowplows can get through...
So the good wife went and moved her car. <br><br>
<br><br>
A week later while they ...
2 Comments, 188 Views,
7 Votes
,5.08 Score
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Turn about is fair play 9/22/2020
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the
aisles. The sales notices him and asks him if she can
help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons
for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and
a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, 'Sir,
I thought...you were looking 4 tampons 4 ur ...
1 Comments, 128 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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Catholic school girls 9/22/2020
A train hits a bus filled with Catholic girls and
they all perish. They r n heaven trying 2 enter the pearly
gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, ' Tami, have
you ever had any contact with a naughty organ? '
She giggles and shyly replies, Well i once touched the head
of one with the tip of my finger. ' He says okay dip the
tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through ...
1 Comments, 105 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
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What Time Is It? 9/2/2020
Adam and his wife were taking a walk in the desert, just outside
a city, to pass time. After having walked a little while,
the couple wanted to check the time, out of curiosity, but
Adam had forgotten his wristwatch back at the hotel. <br><br>
They noticed a frail old man, sitting by his donkey in the
hot sand, about a hundred meters away, and decided to ask
him. "Excuse me sir, ...
2 Comments, 112 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
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O.J. Simpson 8/26/2020
I heard OJ is going to take another stab at marriage!
1 Comments, 14 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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What do you call a 8/7/2020
What do you call a Lesbian dinosaur? A Lickasaurous
0 Comments, 8 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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celebration 6/20/2020
I walked into a bar and told the bartender "give ne
5 shots of whiskey". He lined them up, poured them,
and i drank them. He asked me "Celebrating?"
I replied "kind of. First blow job." He smiled
"Congratulations. Let me buy you a beer." I
told him "If 5 shots of whiskey couldnt get the taste
out of my mouth, i dont think a beer is going to ...
1 Comments, 31 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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What did the fist say to the face 6/2/2020
Pow right on the kisser
1 Comments, 3 Views,
0 Votes
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