Yard work?
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Posted:Jun 17, 2017 3:41 am
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2017 4:57 am
4447 Views
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Loving on the Lawn
A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood.
Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house.
He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was.
"This is a brothel", replied the madam.
"Well, what's all this out on the lawn?" queried the man.
"Oh, we're having a yard sale today."
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4
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That's a sport I'm good at...
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Posted:Jun 16, 2017 3:55 am
Last Updated:Jun 16, 2017 7:04 pm
2916 Views
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Gold Medalist
Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives.
The first said, "I think my husband is like a championship golfer. He's spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke."
The second woman said, "My husband is like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps."
The third woman was silent until she was asked, "Tell us about your husband."
She thought for a moment and said, "My husband is like an Olympic gold-medal-winning quarter-miler."
"How so?"
"He's got his time down to under 40 seconds."
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1
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Important to study
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Posted:Jun 15, 2017 4:32 am
Last Updated:Jun 15, 2017 3:57 pm
3025 Views
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Human Sexuality
This guy was taking a course in human sexuality. The instructor was going through various things in the Kinsey report, and the class members gasped audibly when she read out that a woman had several hundred orgasms in a single session.
A male voice said, "Wow, who was she?".
A female voice followed with, "The hell with that...who was *HE*?"
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3
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Feel the power
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Posted:Jun 14, 2017 2:34 pm
Last Updated:Jun 15, 2017 4:19 am
3808 Views
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And after 44 hours without, we have electrical power back on. That was some storm Monday night. We are on a well system so when we lose power we also lose plumbing. Great time. We lost one tree and a lot of branches but no other damage so we are better off then many.
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3
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Adultery and Alcohol
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Posted:Jun 12, 2017 4:32 am
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2017 10:17 am
3978 Views
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Adultery and Alcohol
An elderly doctor and a Baptist minister were seated next to each other on the plane. The plane was delayed at the start due to some technical problems. Just after taking off, the pilot offered his apologies to the passengers and announced that a round of free drinks would be served.
When the charming hostess came round with the trolley, the doctor ordered a gin and tonic for himself. The hostess then asked the minister whether he wanted anything.
He replied, "Oh No! Thank you. I would rather commit adultery than drink alcohol."
The elderly doctor promptly handed his gin and tonic back to the hostess said, "Madam, I did not know there was a choice."
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2
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An hour of pleasure
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Posted:Jun 11, 2017 4:41 am
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2017 4:29 am
4623 Views
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An Hour of Pleasure
The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality.
"We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation," she said, "ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"
A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, "Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?"
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4
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Looking for keys in all the wrong places
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Posted:Jun 10, 2017 4:24 am
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2017 4:37 am
4121 Views
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A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches,
"Can I help you Sir?"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr", the man replies.
The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key", the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's wiener hanging Out of his fly for all the world to see.
He asks the man, "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without Missing a beat, blurts out....
"Holy shit! My girlfriend's gone, too!!"
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5
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Just not my game
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Posted:Jun 9, 2017 4:47 am
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2017 4:37 am
3365 Views
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A man watching a baseball game on TV kept switching channels to a dirty movie featuring a lusty couple. "I don't know whether to watch them or the game," he said to his wife.
"For heaven's sake, watch them have sex," his wife said. "You already know how to play baseball!"
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6
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Fashion accessory
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Posted:Jun 8, 2017 5:19 am
Last Updated:Jun 9, 2017 8:22 am
3941 Views
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I like my women how I like my glasses.
Sitting on my face.
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2
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Profcaffination
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Posted:Jun 7, 2017 4:23 am
Last Updated:Jun 7, 2017 12:14 pm
4589 Views
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Back to the urban dictionary for material because I might be suffering from...
Procaffination
The inability to make a decision until you've had a cup of coffee.
Make me a coffee, I'm flawed by procaffination today.
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3
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Too good at your job?
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Posted:Jun 6, 2017 5:35 am
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2017 3:00 pm
4377 Views
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Two doctors meet at the bar and decide to hook-up. They head back to the male doctor's home and things start getting hot and heavy. Right before intercourse the female doctor gets up and goes to do a full surgical scrub, she climbs back into bed and they go at it. Afterwards the male doc says "you must be a surgeon"
She says "correct! how did you know?"
He replies "because you did a scrub before sex. "
She thinks for a bit, then says to him "you must be an anesthesiologist"
Astonished he asks "how did you know??"
She replies "because I didn't feel a thing"
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3
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Soon its going to rain...
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Posted:Jun 5, 2017 4:41 am
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2017 10:01 am
4365 Views
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"Give it to me. I'm so fucking wet," she yelled. "Give it to me now."
She could scream all she wanted. I'm keeping the umbrella.
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3
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Dorking continues...
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Posted:Jun 4, 2017 8:50 am
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2017 6:17 am
4076 Views
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Chemistry students do it on the table periodically.
Billions of neutrinos penetrate you every second...Mind if I join in?
I must be a diamond now, because you just gave me a hardness of 10.
Baby you've definitely got potential, my place would be a great place to convert it to kinetic.
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3
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